Hope you enjoyed! This is my first stab at writing a story, please vote and comment! 
Recent Comments
Страница: 1
Сообщений 1 страница 22 из 22
Поделиться12020-10-03 18:41:15
Поделиться22020-10-03 18:41:28
Nice try
Just like it was mention by another commenter, good story BUT she learned too much too fast! Very weird and needs to be changed that she claimed such innocence but knew Daddy's dick was bigger than all the boys at school. There's NO WAY she could have known that and been THAT innocent as claimed. Before you write again, get someone who knows writing to look at it first. Looking forward to more from you.
Поделиться32020-10-03 18:41:35
Work on the language and continuity
I like the simplicity and some of the dialogue - but some of the phrases got a bit too repetitive after a while. Also, you had portrayed her as naive when she was spying, but within a very short time, she seemed to know all of the things she was unsure of a short time before. Either you have him teach her, or don't create the pretense that she doesn't know beforehand.
Поделиться42020-10-03 18:41:41
gotta say its a good story
I just read this and it was by accident too because it was on my friends laptop...ill be going to this site very often...I have some ideas for another story if anyones interested and please call me wolfcraft wolfraft67@yahoo.com ... I hope to get lots of emails because this is one of the greatest sites ever...oh and please no haters
Поделиться52020-10-03 18:41:48
Daddy shoots deep
Another erotic story.Brings back so many memories of my first time with my Daddy.
Here in Thailand it is an honor to please your Daddy.. Thank you so much xx
Поделиться62020-10-03 18:41:54
oh what a story sick and perverted but made my pussy wet
Поделиться72020-10-03 18:42:00
Great Story
Please keep writing. I will be looking forward to chapter two when Daughter joins Daddy's bed every night. Please get her on the pill as incestious babies are to be avoided. I will be watching for more from you......
Поделиться82020-10-03 18:42:06
More???
Very good writing. Wish you would write more.
You only have one submission. Wish you had more. I would read them. 
Поделиться92020-10-03 18:42:50
fuuuuccck
This has left me dripping all down my thighs. Amazing can't believe this is your first one, please write more! Quickly! Felt like i was gonna cum just reading it and could feel my juices pouring out. Brilliant.
Отредактировано Story (2020-10-03 18:42:54)
Поделиться102020-10-03 18:43:01
Wow! This was awesome. I creamed myself at least 3 times while reading this. I will be looking forward to your next submission.
Поделиться112020-10-03 18:43:23
So Hot
I wish i had the bravery to do that to my daddy!!!!!!!!
Поделиться122020-10-03 18:43:29
daddy shoots deep
wow i would give 6 stars that story was great and when you said bum that made it better
Поделиться132020-10-03 18:43:36
I, for one, loved that innocence she had. It added to the story for me.
What about life after?
Поделиться142020-10-03 18:43:43
A bit too innocent
The concept is a good one but the execution could use some work. The girl was entirely too innocent for someone of 18. Unless she grew up under a rock there's no way she would've been that innocent.
However seeing her turn into her daddy's slut at the end was very nice.
Поделиться152020-10-03 18:43:54
Daddys SLUT !
That's was fucking HOT ! ... I'm an older guy who LOVES these hot Daddy/Daughter stories .... I LOVE that she was such a nasty talking little girl SLUT and that she so LOVED that hot nasty daddy cum ! !
Steve (tnmacman57@att.net)
Поделиться162020-10-03 18:44:01
still want my dad
I'm 22 and still tease my dad too hoping he will lose control and make me his. I'm stacy18_bi@hotmail.com
Поделиться172020-10-03 18:44:42
I liked it a lot well written
Yes it made me cum
Поделиться182020-10-03 18:44:48
success at last.
very well written. been there with 3 daughters. love it. more please.
Поделиться192020-10-03 18:44:55
DAM THAT WAS HOT
This mite will be the hotest story i have every read u did a great job keep up the good work great story.
Поделиться202020-10-03 18:45:01
so hot
Wow that is maybe the hottest short story I have read so far!!!!!! I am soaking wetfor daddys big dick;)
Поделиться212020-10-03 18:45:07
Loved it but with reservations
Leaned toward the absurd with the daddy/daughter overkill. Still even though I giggled a little I was very turned on.
Поделиться222020-10-05 21:23:49
Great Story
Страница: 1